At Least You're Not Dead

Feeling blue today? The Man got you down? Wife nagging in your ear? Kids pooping on your carpet? Husband scratching himself, sprawled on the couch? Pudwacker cut you off in traffic?

I can fix all of that.

Go rent any season of Six Feet Under. There you can witness the misery of people that don't really exist and thereby temporarily forget your own troubles and woes. Seriously, it's a good show. Sure, none of the protagonists are ever, ever happy. And you really can't watch more than one episode at a time without wallowing in their depression. But sometimes after I've watched an hour of their problems, I take in a deep breath and think to myself, my life isn't so bad after all. And that's a good thing.

Tabula Rasa Delayed

Tabula Rasa's launch date has been postponed two weeks, for an official release date of November 2. There are two things I know about this MMO: 1) it's by Richard Garriott, the dude behind all those Ultima titles and 2) it has a science fiction setting.

Other than that, it's a blank slate to me. Bahahahaha.

From Frodo to Master Chief

IMBd has Pete Jackson associated with a movie version of Halo. I can't tell what his role is, as the movie has other people listed as writer and director. If he's neither of those, I'd guess he's producing.

Car Wars

My brother is a cross between Jabba the Hutt and Brett Favre. Which is surprising considering I bear a striking resemblance to Daniel Craig. I've pressed my Ma over and over about the possibility that either one of us was switched at birth, but she sticks to her guns that we're kin.

My "brother" recently purchased one of these. He's a big fan of the Dukes of Hazzard, so much so that he had the doors of his new car welded shut and this attached to the driver's side mirror. It was all well and good until he shimmied across the hood of the car and then got wedged in the window. The local fire department wanted to use the Jaws of Life to rescue him, but he only agreed to a tub of Crisco and a crowbar, which ultimately did the trick and only nicked the paint a little.

If I sound bitter and jealous and petty, nothing could be further from the truth. Never mind the fact I called Jimmy Three-Legs downtown to inquire on the current black market value of my two girls. Turns out even the Houston mafia heard about Claire's potty training woes, which put me about $30k short of trumping my brother's sweet chariot. But hey, no skin of my back. I'd much rather have my beautiful family than a Dodge Charger. Yes. Uh huh. Definitely.

Bro and his wife are coming for Turkey break; he's already messing with me, saying he's not going to bring the car. But I plan on breaking out the big guns. I'm going to offer him his very own turkey if he drives the Charger. Soon, sweet driving bliss will be mine.

The Warden IZ IN YOUR FILEZ, STEALZIN YOUR SECRETZ

CNN has a rare article on gaming, focused on cheating and what companies do to combat it. Of particular interest was the article's mention of WoW and a program that Blizzard uses to monitor cheating called "The Warden." I've never heard of this anti-cheating initiative by Blizzard, but it blew my mind that the article asserts the program likely goes beyond monitoring the game and actually combs through a user's operating system. And that it might even violate California anti-spyware law!

The article brings up another good point. Blizzard bans gold sellers, who turn around and buy new accounts, get banned again, buy new accounts, rinse and repeat. What would motivate Blizzard to stop that kind of cash cycle? Interesting issues, not surprising at all that Blizzard declined to comment.

You Know I How I Know You're Gay?

Ok, I admit it. I listen to Coldplay. I know it's gay, but I like their music. I listen to Nine Inch Nails to help counter all the gayness induced from Coldplay.

I may be steeping myself in more gayness.

I just picked up Faded Seaside Glamour by the Delays and I'm really liking them. The lead singer has this incredible voice; the pitch is crazy high, almost dog whistle frequency. He's a guy and if I didn't see him perform on London Live, I'd swear someone had his nuts in a kung-fu vice grip to hit notes that high. The band's tunes are melodic and catchy, just a hint of 60s but not annoyingly so.

But now I need something to counter the Delays. And I'm thinking with him singing that high, one manly band isn't going to be enough. Maybe a couple of moldy hair bands from the 80s? Dokken maybe? Or maybe something a bit more current like Alice in Chains or Marilyn Manson? I like AiC well enough, but MM is too freaky. Not Rick James freaky, but the bad kind.

Eye of Newt, and Toe of Frog

Just a few days after teasing anxious voters with the idea that he'd take a run at president, a spokesman confirmed that Newt Gingrich isn't running after all. Gingrich had stated that if supporters raised $30 million dollars within three weeks, he'd agree to run for president. He must have been greeted with a chorus of crickets because he has since rescinded this pledge.

Which is too bad because I think it'd be great to have the leader of the free world named "Newt."