TELL ME WHERE TONY IS! I SAID TELL ME WHERE TONY IS!

Last night Wifezilla and I finished the fourth hour of the new 24 season premiere. On its seventh “day,” I really can’t complain about the series anymore. It’s like going to an Adam Sandler movie, you know what you’re getting the moment you sit down and start to watch. When it sucks and you look about you for someone to blame, find the nearest mirror and glare longingly until your angst subsides because no one else wants to listen to you bitch about that which is empirically bad.

As many have already pointed out, the latest season of 24 plugs into its usual formula of international terrorists, hijacked American technology, and intel-leaky U.S. government agencies. There are some small twists, of course, like the return of the once-dead Tony Almeda or the complete absence of CTU, the fictional Counter-Terrorist Unit. And then there are some things that remain the same, like Jack yelling commands twice and than applying lethal force before uttering the third. I did enjoy the fact that Jack wasted little time in commandeering a Bic pen and lowering it within inches of a suspect’s eyeballs to withdraw some reluctant information. That dude is hardcore.

Wait, I just got done writing that you can’t complain about 24. Looks like I’m doing just that. Never fear though, Lost on ABC and Flight of the Conchords on HBO premiere next Sunday. And if you don’t like watching good TV, you can join the petite and lumpen proletariat and watch The Biggest Loser or the new season of American Idol.

When I get tired of observing Jack waterboarding various international criminals in the name of U.S. national security, I just know Jemaine and Bret’s wacky antics won’t fail to entertain.