Conan the Librarian

Once again, my sensei asks me, "James, what is best in life."

I dare not flinch when I respond in a rote voice, "To fine your patrons, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the illiterate."

Cue the war drums. I'm mounting up. I'm fining and driving my library patrons before me. I may soon hear the lamentation of the illiterate.

Soon, but not yet. More to follow, possibly.