Bill Harris played five hours of GTA IV then posted his initial impressions. He's got a lot to say about the game so far, but this summarizes his thoughts:
There are so many clunky moments like that where something should be fun and immersive, but instead it's a reminder of just how thin the world really is, and it's frustrating.
That describes the game in a nutshell. It's vast, and detailed, and paper-thin. Put your hand on that paper and push, even gently, and your hand goes right through.
Note that he's referring to the X-Box version of the game. You can read the rest here.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Age of Nanoc
Mass Effect and Age of Conan both come out within a week of each other in late May. I don’t think I’ll be picking up Mass Effect. Don’t get me wrong, I want to play it. It’s just there’s no time. I still haven’t finished The Witcher from last Christmas. Maybe if I knock that out, I’ll let myself pick up ME. Maybe.
I’m wavering on getting Age of Conan too. I’m a MMO junkie, but again, I’m strapped for time. Requiem should have Illidan on farm by then (or at the very least towards the end of killing him for the first time) and I really want to get my LoTRO minstrel leveled up so I can try some casual raiding in that game. Even with it being summer, I’m not sure I can juggle all three of those games, especially if AoC turns out to be fun.
To further complicate things, Fallout 3 might be coming out this summer, though I’ve also seen reports of its release being as late as October. I have to buy and play this game. Bethesda, the same dudes that made Oblivion, is developing it and I’ll be surprised if it’s not amazing.
I guess it’s a good problem to have but I’m officially at the point where I don’t have the time to play all the good games that are out.
I’m wavering on getting Age of Conan too. I’m a MMO junkie, but again, I’m strapped for time. Requiem should have Illidan on farm by then (or at the very least towards the end of killing him for the first time) and I really want to get my LoTRO minstrel leveled up so I can try some casual raiding in that game. Even with it being summer, I’m not sure I can juggle all three of those games, especially if AoC turns out to be fun.
To further complicate things, Fallout 3 might be coming out this summer, though I’ve also seen reports of its release being as late as October. I have to buy and play this game. Bethesda, the same dudes that made Oblivion, is developing it and I’ll be surprised if it’s not amazing.
I guess it’s a good problem to have but I’m officially at the point where I don’t have the time to play all the good games that are out.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
The Insatiable Urge to Beat Hookers with a Baseball Bat
Grand Theft Auto IV is out today and I just might be the only gamer in the tri-state region that isn’t going to run out and buy it. I played II back in the day and got bored quickly. Call me crazy, but shooting cops and beating hookers just didn’t hold my attention.
Even though I don’t play it, I respect the market that does. Still, I get irritated with Rockstar because this series always brings out renewed calls to ban or censor video games. Jeez, even Rod Ryan on The Buzz was complaining about IV’s new feature of simulating drunk driving. Rod, like most people ignorant about gaming, makes the leap that people run out and do the things they see or simulate in video games.
So. Completely. Intolerably. Stupid.
Rod’s sidekick, Mark Wiggins, pounced on Rod’s hypocrisy; he pointed out that Rod feels incensed about the drunken driving aspect of the game, but not the fact that you shoot and kill innocent people throughout the game. Rod’s only response was that few people have access to guns, but most everyone has the capability to get drunk and drive a car.
It’s the same old tired argument that gets brought up every time a violent, controversial game comes to the public’s attention. Though there’s no data to back the claim, most everyone makes this startling assumption that kids and adults promptly try to reenact what they played in a video game. For the brief amount of time I smacked a hooker around in GTA II, it never once occurred to me that I wanted to do that for real. Hell, I doubt I could even SPOT a hooker in real life, let along beat one with a baseball bat.
The fact of the matter is that people prone to violence or stupid behavior are going to act on those impulses no matter what. The sad coincidence is that some of these people just happen to play video games. The vast majority of gamers are well-adjusted, non-violent, happy-go-lucky people who can easily differentiate between the fantasy world in which they indulge and the real world in which they exist. In fact, some of the sickest, dumbest people I’ve ever met in my life DIDN’T play video games. I guess I could start making an assumption that non-gamers are more prone to violence and stupid behavior.
I’d be right most of the time.
Though it’s far more likely I’ll be named the next American Idol, it’s time we stopped blaming games for violent or irresponsible behavior and instead look for problems with authentic cause-effect relationships. That might involve taking a look at the country’s divorce rate and the consequent children raised by a single parent. Or the broken health care system. Or educational institutions that spend more time testing students than teaching them something. Or a mortgage-lending system that got so greedy, the entire housing industry almost imploded. Or an energy policy that now finds the country paying an accelerating price at the pump. Those are real issues causing real problems in our country. But they’re difficult to fix.
Much easier to blame video games for perceived social ills than try and fix problems that are a true burden on our country.
Even though I don’t play it, I respect the market that does. Still, I get irritated with Rockstar because this series always brings out renewed calls to ban or censor video games. Jeez, even Rod Ryan on The Buzz was complaining about IV’s new feature of simulating drunk driving. Rod, like most people ignorant about gaming, makes the leap that people run out and do the things they see or simulate in video games.
So. Completely. Intolerably. Stupid.
Rod’s sidekick, Mark Wiggins, pounced on Rod’s hypocrisy; he pointed out that Rod feels incensed about the drunken driving aspect of the game, but not the fact that you shoot and kill innocent people throughout the game. Rod’s only response was that few people have access to guns, but most everyone has the capability to get drunk and drive a car.
It’s the same old tired argument that gets brought up every time a violent, controversial game comes to the public’s attention. Though there’s no data to back the claim, most everyone makes this startling assumption that kids and adults promptly try to reenact what they played in a video game. For the brief amount of time I smacked a hooker around in GTA II, it never once occurred to me that I wanted to do that for real. Hell, I doubt I could even SPOT a hooker in real life, let along beat one with a baseball bat.
The fact of the matter is that people prone to violence or stupid behavior are going to act on those impulses no matter what. The sad coincidence is that some of these people just happen to play video games. The vast majority of gamers are well-adjusted, non-violent, happy-go-lucky people who can easily differentiate between the fantasy world in which they indulge and the real world in which they exist. In fact, some of the sickest, dumbest people I’ve ever met in my life DIDN’T play video games. I guess I could start making an assumption that non-gamers are more prone to violence and stupid behavior.
I’d be right most of the time.
Though it’s far more likely I’ll be named the next American Idol, it’s time we stopped blaming games for violent or irresponsible behavior and instead look for problems with authentic cause-effect relationships. That might involve taking a look at the country’s divorce rate and the consequent children raised by a single parent. Or the broken health care system. Or educational institutions that spend more time testing students than teaching them something. Or a mortgage-lending system that got so greedy, the entire housing industry almost imploded. Or an energy policy that now finds the country paying an accelerating price at the pump. Those are real issues causing real problems in our country. But they’re difficult to fix.
Much easier to blame video games for perceived social ills than try and fix problems that are a true burden on our country.
Monday, April 28, 2008
With a Vengeance
Friday and Saturday nights, Archimonde, Bloodboil, and Reliquary of the Souls put Requiem over their collective knees and spanked some bare ass. It was a raiding disaster that brought grown men to tears and made women pull their hair out in shame.
Sunday night, Requiem returned to Black Temple for some much needed payback. The guild waltzed into BT and proceeded to one-shot Bloodboil like he was on farm (which, uh, he is). Reliquary took a couple good trial attempts and ultimately fell too. What we couldn’t do in five hours of raiding Saturday night we accomplished in less than two Sunday.
It’s strange how sometimes nothing seems to go right. It could be the raid composition that night. Or maybe the stars aren’t perfectly aligned. Or maybe people are just plain tired and more prone to making dumb mistakes. All I know is some raid nights, we seem unstoppable while others I don’t think we’re capable of downing Hogger. All that wiping has a silver lining though: I now know both the Bloodboil and ROS fights inside and out. And the day I pull aggro off Bloodboil again is the day I roll an alliance night elf huntard named “Ucanttouchthis.”
Sunday night, Requiem returned to Black Temple for some much needed payback. The guild waltzed into BT and proceeded to one-shot Bloodboil like he was on farm (which, uh, he is). Reliquary took a couple good trial attempts and ultimately fell too. What we couldn’t do in five hours of raiding Saturday night we accomplished in less than two Sunday.
It’s strange how sometimes nothing seems to go right. It could be the raid composition that night. Or maybe the stars aren’t perfectly aligned. Or maybe people are just plain tired and more prone to making dumb mistakes. All I know is some raid nights, we seem unstoppable while others I don’t think we’re capable of downing Hogger. All that wiping has a silver lining though: I now know both the Bloodboil and ROS fights inside and out. And the day I pull aggro off Bloodboil again is the day I roll an alliance night elf huntard named “Ucanttouchthis.”
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Roses and WTF?
Coming off last week's fantastic first-time downings of Ma Shazz and Archie, Requiem languished this past weekend. We tackled Mount Hyjal on Friday night and one-shotted all but Kaz'rogal. He died promptly the second time around. We then set to work on Archie. He proved not quite as cooperative as last week.
I find it grimly funny that the best attempt of the night on Archie, I cratered about a minute into the fight. It was a classic lag death. As I descended, I pushed my Tears of the Goddess. Nothing happened, I continued falling, and then I slammed into the ground. On the plus side, I escaped Doomfire almost the entire night. The two times I got it, I fled the scene and healed myself. So I never died from it. Nevertheless, wipe after wipe took it's toll and the guild eventually called it a night. We're going to try and kill him tonight. I'm going to skip Tears of the Goddess and just starting using Levitate here on out. I'll take longer to land, but I'll eliminate crater deaths.
Saturday night proved even more frustrating. We opened with Bloodboil. I had attended some of the guild's earliest attempts at this boss, but I hadn't actually killed him yet. This proved costly as I pulled aggro on the third attempt and wiped the raid. I was half the threat of the lead tank, but evidently ahead of the others. I fixed subsequent attempts by lightly dpsing, limiting myself to dots and Mind Flay and then opening up at Fel Rage. Looking on the bright side, I got Fel Rage twice and lived through both handily. The key for a shadow priest is to make sure Vampiric Embrace is up and spam Mind Blast and Mind Flay while staying way from Shadow Word: Death. I think I forgot to put Shield up, but I don't think I ever dipped below 75% health.
Tired of wiping over and over again on Bloodboil, late in the evening we redirected to Reliquary of Souls. Wipe after wipe, we never got beyond phase two. I had never done this fight before, but it's pretty easy for a shadow priest. Healing is debuffed 100% in phase 1, so no Shadow Word: Death. Damage is amplified in phase 2 so again, no Shadow Word: Death. I never saw phase 3, but I guess there's a nature debuff you counter with a pot.
Last night was a marathon of pained raiding. At least Friday night, we downed four bosses despite Archie stubborn refusal to die. Saturday though was an insidious, pervasive morale killer; we walked away completely empty-handed. That's a tough pill to swallow, especially since the guild has successfully killed Bloodboil and Reliquary of Souls twice (maybe even more). But like our guild leader Nail said in Vent, "Raiding isn't always all roses and puppy dogs. Or roses and penises." I guess that last one was directed at some of our more homosexually-inclined members. Requiem is accustomed to steamrolling through high-end content. We get so used to success, we sometimes take it for granted. Saturday night was a bitter reminder that Black Temple can be a harsh mistress. That no boss inside its olive-colored halls will easily part with its purple bounty.
The real test for Requiem is how it will respond from this week's set back. There was plenty of careless, sloppy play both nights. There was equal amount of recrimination and finger-pointing. Both are equally devastating to high-end raiding and morale. Tomorrow is another day as they say. Sloppy play can be fixed. Negative attitudes made positive. Requiem will push past this slump. Next week I'm looking forward to being showered with rose petals and surrounded by . . . um . . . puppy dogs licking my face.
/blink
I find it grimly funny that the best attempt of the night on Archie, I cratered about a minute into the fight. It was a classic lag death. As I descended, I pushed my Tears of the Goddess. Nothing happened, I continued falling, and then I slammed into the ground. On the plus side, I escaped Doomfire almost the entire night. The two times I got it, I fled the scene and healed myself. So I never died from it. Nevertheless, wipe after wipe took it's toll and the guild eventually called it a night. We're going to try and kill him tonight. I'm going to skip Tears of the Goddess and just starting using Levitate here on out. I'll take longer to land, but I'll eliminate crater deaths.
Saturday night proved even more frustrating. We opened with Bloodboil. I had attended some of the guild's earliest attempts at this boss, but I hadn't actually killed him yet. This proved costly as I pulled aggro on the third attempt and wiped the raid. I was half the threat of the lead tank, but evidently ahead of the others. I fixed subsequent attempts by lightly dpsing, limiting myself to dots and Mind Flay and then opening up at Fel Rage. Looking on the bright side, I got Fel Rage twice and lived through both handily. The key for a shadow priest is to make sure Vampiric Embrace is up and spam Mind Blast and Mind Flay while staying way from Shadow Word: Death. I think I forgot to put Shield up, but I don't think I ever dipped below 75% health.
Tired of wiping over and over again on Bloodboil, late in the evening we redirected to Reliquary of Souls. Wipe after wipe, we never got beyond phase two. I had never done this fight before, but it's pretty easy for a shadow priest. Healing is debuffed 100% in phase 1, so no Shadow Word: Death. Damage is amplified in phase 2 so again, no Shadow Word: Death. I never saw phase 3, but I guess there's a nature debuff you counter with a pot.
Last night was a marathon of pained raiding. At least Friday night, we downed four bosses despite Archie stubborn refusal to die. Saturday though was an insidious, pervasive morale killer; we walked away completely empty-handed. That's a tough pill to swallow, especially since the guild has successfully killed Bloodboil and Reliquary of Souls twice (maybe even more). But like our guild leader Nail said in Vent, "Raiding isn't always all roses and puppy dogs. Or roses and penises." I guess that last one was directed at some of our more homosexually-inclined members. Requiem is accustomed to steamrolling through high-end content. We get so used to success, we sometimes take it for granted. Saturday night was a bitter reminder that Black Temple can be a harsh mistress. That no boss inside its olive-colored halls will easily part with its purple bounty.
The real test for Requiem is how it will respond from this week's set back. There was plenty of careless, sloppy play both nights. There was equal amount of recrimination and finger-pointing. Both are equally devastating to high-end raiding and morale. Tomorrow is another day as they say. Sloppy play can be fixed. Negative attitudes made positive. Requiem will push past this slump. Next week I'm looking forward to being showered with rose petals and surrounded by . . . um . . . puppy dogs licking my face.
/blink
Friday, April 25, 2008
Boys Don't Wear Those
After I got home from work yesterday, I went upstairs to change. I had just gotten out of my trousers when Claire sauntered into the bedroom uninvited. She pointed at me and said, “Ewwwww. I can see your panties!”
“Underwear, Claire. Underwear.”
“Underwear, Claire. Underwear.”
Thursday, April 24, 2008
LoTRO Gets Book 13
It's called Doom of the Last-King and it includes an entire new region set in the frozen north. The area introduces a new damage type, frost. Toons will slowly receive this DoT until they reach a warm zone, like a camp or a fire. I assume they'll be some crafted gear that helps slow down or eliminate the damage all together.
There's also fishing (meh) and a new healing class for monster play, the Defiler. All in all, looks to be a juicy installment.
There's also fishing (meh) and a new healing class for monster play, the Defiler. All in all, looks to be a juicy installment.
Tracking
At work today, a teacher sidled up to me quietly and said, “Uh, there’s something over there.”
“Huh?” I responded intelligently.
There’s something. Over there.”
I leaned over the circulation desk and squinted to where she was pointed. It looked to be a brown glob of something. My Spidey sense started tingling.
“Uh oh,” I said.
“Uh huh,” the teacher responded.
I walked around the counter and warily approached the UFO. It really wasn’t unidentified. I knew what it was; I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. I approached within a foot of it and leaned in a bit. It was brown. Round, but not perfectly spherical. Textured. Odorless, from my safe distance.
It was, quite simply, a turd. And glancing nearby, I saw another of its relatives just three feet away. Like Aragorn sniffing out Nazgul, I moved out of the library and into a nearby hallway. Sure enough, another unwanted friend.
I decided to cut my losses and end my investigation. Calling in custodial engineer reinforcements, I slid chairs over the leaked turds and then forced myself to stop thinking about the logistics of crap globules falling out of a person. The custodian confirmed a fecal matter sighting and set to work scooping it up and spraying the affected area.
Meanwhile, I went back to my office and held myself tightly, rocking and sobbing.
“Huh?” I responded intelligently.
There’s something. Over there.”
I leaned over the circulation desk and squinted to where she was pointed. It looked to be a brown glob of something. My Spidey sense started tingling.
“Uh oh,” I said.
“Uh huh,” the teacher responded.
I walked around the counter and warily approached the UFO. It really wasn’t unidentified. I knew what it was; I just didn’t want to admit it to myself. I approached within a foot of it and leaned in a bit. It was brown. Round, but not perfectly spherical. Textured. Odorless, from my safe distance.
It was, quite simply, a turd. And glancing nearby, I saw another of its relatives just three feet away. Like Aragorn sniffing out Nazgul, I moved out of the library and into a nearby hallway. Sure enough, another unwanted friend.
I decided to cut my losses and end my investigation. Calling in custodial engineer reinforcements, I slid chairs over the leaked turds and then forced myself to stop thinking about the logistics of crap globules falling out of a person. The custodian confirmed a fecal matter sighting and set to work scooping it up and spraying the affected area.
Meanwhile, I went back to my office and held myself tightly, rocking and sobbing.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
No Country for Old Men
***SPOILER ALERT***
I watched this movie over the weekend and absolutely dug it. Best movie I've seen in a long time. I had seen previews for it months back and wasn't impressed enough to try and get a babysitter lined up to see it in the theater. When it won Best Picture and I heard the Coen brothers made it, I wasted no time queueing it up for rental.
First things first, if you saw the Sopranos series finale and hated the ending, you won't like No Country's any better. It's deliberately vague, open-ended, and most importantly, anti-Hollywood. A long history of trite Hollywood endings set this movie up for one that felt real even if it shed the previous hour's action and indulged its character's in some near-perilous fate and quiet self-reflection.
The movie surprised me at most every turn. I couldn't believe Llewelyn returned to the drug-deal scene. I love that moment when he wakes up in the middle of the night with a "ah hell" expression on his face and then proceeds to drive back, all so he can relieve his guilty conscience and give a dying drug-runner some water.
I was equally surprised when Llewelyn dies suddenly at the end of the movie. The Coens fooled me but good. When Llewelyn tells Anton he's making him his "special project," I had it in my head that these guys would have some spectacular showdown. Instead, the last scene we see Llewelyn alive, he's flirting with some woman who's trying to convince him to join her for some beers. Next thing you know, he's dead.
My favorite dialogue of the movie? It's at the very end, when Anton appears in Carla Jean's house just as she's returned from her mother's funeral. She knows he's there to kill her. Yet she calmly sits down and talks with him. At one point she says, "You don't have to do this." Anton almost laughs and says, "People always say the same thing."
"What do they say," asks Carla Jean.
"They say, 'You don't have to do this.'
"You don't."
"Ok."
At which points Anton launches into his trademark snare of flipping a coin and asking his victim to call it. He never explicity says what for. A store clerk he flips a coin for earlier in the movie even asks what he stands to win. Anton only responds with "everything." The store clerk called it right. Carla Jean didn't.
The film bears something in common with an earlier Coen brother's masterpiece, Fargo. Similarly to how they showed the culture of Minnesota residents, the Coens captured the people of East Texas. I laughed when Llewelyn tries to get additional hotel room adjacent to the first. The elderly desk clerk hassles him about it though, pointing out the room he wants has a double bed and he's only one person. I'm sure the people of East Texas will disagree with their depiction in the movie. I know the residents of eastern North Dakota and western Minnesota got really pissed off about Fargo (if you meet or know someone from that region, ask them if that's really how people talk in Minnesota and then brace yourself for a minutes-long diatribe). But you know there's a grain of truth in both movies. If there weren't, I doubt anyone would get much riled up.
The similarity between the two movies really stops there however. Where Fargo was darkly funny, No Country is sober and serious. Fargo is a great example of a black comedy; I laughed and laughed when Sam Busemi got stuffed into that wood chipper. I was mostly horrified when Anton pulled that random man off the side of the road and killed him with a captive bolt pistol. I can't explain why I fine one to be sickeningly funny, the other not.
I think that's the way the Coens meant it to be.
I watched this movie over the weekend and absolutely dug it. Best movie I've seen in a long time. I had seen previews for it months back and wasn't impressed enough to try and get a babysitter lined up to see it in the theater. When it won Best Picture and I heard the Coen brothers made it, I wasted no time queueing it up for rental.
First things first, if you saw the Sopranos series finale and hated the ending, you won't like No Country's any better. It's deliberately vague, open-ended, and most importantly, anti-Hollywood. A long history of trite Hollywood endings set this movie up for one that felt real even if it shed the previous hour's action and indulged its character's in some near-perilous fate and quiet self-reflection.
The movie surprised me at most every turn. I couldn't believe Llewelyn returned to the drug-deal scene. I love that moment when he wakes up in the middle of the night with a "ah hell" expression on his face and then proceeds to drive back, all so he can relieve his guilty conscience and give a dying drug-runner some water.
I was equally surprised when Llewelyn dies suddenly at the end of the movie. The Coens fooled me but good. When Llewelyn tells Anton he's making him his "special project," I had it in my head that these guys would have some spectacular showdown. Instead, the last scene we see Llewelyn alive, he's flirting with some woman who's trying to convince him to join her for some beers. Next thing you know, he's dead.
My favorite dialogue of the movie? It's at the very end, when Anton appears in Carla Jean's house just as she's returned from her mother's funeral. She knows he's there to kill her. Yet she calmly sits down and talks with him. At one point she says, "You don't have to do this." Anton almost laughs and says, "People always say the same thing."
"What do they say," asks Carla Jean.
"They say, 'You don't have to do this.'
"You don't."
"Ok."
At which points Anton launches into his trademark snare of flipping a coin and asking his victim to call it. He never explicity says what for. A store clerk he flips a coin for earlier in the movie even asks what he stands to win. Anton only responds with "everything." The store clerk called it right. Carla Jean didn't.
The film bears something in common with an earlier Coen brother's masterpiece, Fargo. Similarly to how they showed the culture of Minnesota residents, the Coens captured the people of East Texas. I laughed when Llewelyn tries to get additional hotel room adjacent to the first. The elderly desk clerk hassles him about it though, pointing out the room he wants has a double bed and he's only one person. I'm sure the people of East Texas will disagree with their depiction in the movie. I know the residents of eastern North Dakota and western Minnesota got really pissed off about Fargo (if you meet or know someone from that region, ask them if that's really how people talk in Minnesota and then brace yourself for a minutes-long diatribe). But you know there's a grain of truth in both movies. If there weren't, I doubt anyone would get much riled up.
The similarity between the two movies really stops there however. Where Fargo was darkly funny, No Country is sober and serious. Fargo is a great example of a black comedy; I laughed and laughed when Sam Busemi got stuffed into that wood chipper. I was mostly horrified when Anton pulled that random man off the side of the road and killed him with a captive bolt pistol. I can't explain why I fine one to be sickeningly funny, the other not.
I think that's the way the Coens meant it to be.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
I, Bronze God
Back when I was a teenager, oh these many years ago, I used to run like the wind. I wasn't in track or cross-country, but I still ran between five to ten miles a day.
Yes, a day.
And I'm talking running, not the jogging you see some geezers doing, where a normal person can out-walk their run. I'm talking, double-time-blow-your-doors off fast. I'm sure at my peak I could have easily completed a marathon.
Part of my typical running trek was up one of the longest and steepest hills in the town of Minot, North Dakota. Running in the summer, I'd go shirtless; back in the day, nothing got the honnies faster than a shirtless dude with a boss flowing mullet. Within weeks of half-naked marathon running, my hair was bleach blond and my skin a deep dark brown. All the running gave me a six-pack and even though I only weighed about 130 pounds, I was in the best shape I'd ever be in my life.
Twenty-some years later and I'm in the worst shape I've ever been. As a teenager, I did everything humanly possible to add bulk to my frame, including chugging god-awful protein shakes. They never helped. Nowadays, I eat a cashew and observe it instantly stick to my gut. I don't know what became of my once hummingbird metabolism, but it long since ceased hovering in mid-space and now reclines comfortably on the couch.
I have made numerous attempts at combating this. Not long after Hallie was born, I hit the gym. I stuck with it for nearly a year and was close to bench pressing 250 pounds before I used my daily schedule as an excuse to stop. I wielded such dynamic physical prowess, I could rip entire phone books in half with my bare hands.
Oh wait, that's some dude I saw on TV. I got that confused with my ability to crush empty beer cans on my forehead.
But even though I was getting stronger in a relatively small amount of time, I lost interest and quit going. Just two years ago, I started up again. This time, I was going to stick to a strict cardiovascular workout. But again the momentum faltered and I quickly found myself paying a monthly YMCA bill for nothing.
Rationally, my behavior makes no sense. I know working out isn't just healthier, it makes me feel better. After awhile though, I forget what it feels like to not exercise. I get lazy. I quit. I coast on a year's worth of working out and then hit rock bottom with a sagging waistline and developing man bosoms.
I don't want to have to buy and don a manziere.
So, I'm once again trying an exercise regime. This time, I have a two tier approach. Step one: get back in running shape. There's no way I can run the distance I used to as a teenager, and not just because I don't have the time. I can, however, run a modest amount each day, maybe a mile or two or three. I need to jump-start my too dormant metabolism, get its coal-furnace burning, its pistons firing at a shadow of its former glory. That should take care of the gut and emerging man-boobs. Man is not meant to jiggle when he runs.
Step two is to get a membership to a modestly priced gym that's reasonably close to my house. Just a few years ago, I was close to benching 250 pounds. But not quite. And that was after only a few months of pumping iron. If I stuck with it, I could easily hit 300 pounds. And then I could walk around threatening to rip the heads off people that look at me cross-eyed. That would be tiiight.
I need to get my weight down first. I'm at around 210 right now. I think I'll start pumping iron when I get it down to 190. I think 180 would be the sweet spot. The problem with lifting though is you actually gain weight; Muscle weighs more than fat. If I can get down to 190 when I start lifting, the weight gain from there would theoretically be muscle. I can handle being 210 pounds of muscle.
I've got a picture of me when I was 17. I was at the lake with my friends and a bud of mine clicked a picture of me standing next to my car. Blond, tan, six-pack: I can barely recognize that person today. I think I'm going to put that picture next to my nightstand to motivate me not to quit this time.
Yes, a day.
And I'm talking running, not the jogging you see some geezers doing, where a normal person can out-walk their run. I'm talking, double-time-blow-your-doors off fast. I'm sure at my peak I could have easily completed a marathon.
Part of my typical running trek was up one of the longest and steepest hills in the town of Minot, North Dakota. Running in the summer, I'd go shirtless; back in the day, nothing got the honnies faster than a shirtless dude with a boss flowing mullet. Within weeks of half-naked marathon running, my hair was bleach blond and my skin a deep dark brown. All the running gave me a six-pack and even though I only weighed about 130 pounds, I was in the best shape I'd ever be in my life.
Twenty-some years later and I'm in the worst shape I've ever been. As a teenager, I did everything humanly possible to add bulk to my frame, including chugging god-awful protein shakes. They never helped. Nowadays, I eat a cashew and observe it instantly stick to my gut. I don't know what became of my once hummingbird metabolism, but it long since ceased hovering in mid-space and now reclines comfortably on the couch.
I have made numerous attempts at combating this. Not long after Hallie was born, I hit the gym. I stuck with it for nearly a year and was close to bench pressing 250 pounds before I used my daily schedule as an excuse to stop. I wielded such dynamic physical prowess, I could rip entire phone books in half with my bare hands.
Oh wait, that's some dude I saw on TV. I got that confused with my ability to crush empty beer cans on my forehead.
But even though I was getting stronger in a relatively small amount of time, I lost interest and quit going. Just two years ago, I started up again. This time, I was going to stick to a strict cardiovascular workout. But again the momentum faltered and I quickly found myself paying a monthly YMCA bill for nothing.
Rationally, my behavior makes no sense. I know working out isn't just healthier, it makes me feel better. After awhile though, I forget what it feels like to not exercise. I get lazy. I quit. I coast on a year's worth of working out and then hit rock bottom with a sagging waistline and developing man bosoms.
I don't want to have to buy and don a manziere.
So, I'm once again trying an exercise regime. This time, I have a two tier approach. Step one: get back in running shape. There's no way I can run the distance I used to as a teenager, and not just because I don't have the time. I can, however, run a modest amount each day, maybe a mile or two or three. I need to jump-start my too dormant metabolism, get its coal-furnace burning, its pistons firing at a shadow of its former glory. That should take care of the gut and emerging man-boobs. Man is not meant to jiggle when he runs.
Step two is to get a membership to a modestly priced gym that's reasonably close to my house. Just a few years ago, I was close to benching 250 pounds. But not quite. And that was after only a few months of pumping iron. If I stuck with it, I could easily hit 300 pounds. And then I could walk around threatening to rip the heads off people that look at me cross-eyed. That would be tiiight.
I need to get my weight down first. I'm at around 210 right now. I think I'll start pumping iron when I get it down to 190. I think 180 would be the sweet spot. The problem with lifting though is you actually gain weight; Muscle weighs more than fat. If I can get down to 190 when I start lifting, the weight gain from there would theoretically be muscle. I can handle being 210 pounds of muscle.
I've got a picture of me when I was 17. I was at the lake with my friends and a bud of mine clicked a picture of me standing next to my car. Blond, tan, six-pack: I can barely recognize that person today. I think I'm going to put that picture next to my nightstand to motivate me not to quit this time.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Requiem Slays Mother Shaz
It's been quite a week for Requiem. Archimonde last Saturday night and now, as promised, Mother Shaz Monday.
That leaves the Illidari Council and Illidan himself left.
That leaves the Illidari Council and Illidan himself left.
D&D 4th Edition Goes Digital?
Looks like D&D is taking a 180 degree turn with the upcoming 4th edition rule set. Check out the MMO Report from G4 TV:
Requiem Downs Archimonde
Congrats to Requiem for killing Archimonde for the first time ever last Saturday night. I actually attended the joyous event and was present for the landmark kill.
Interestingly enough, we killed Archimonde after eleven wipes. Some of those first attempts were rock solid. I remember one in particular we had Archie down to 25% before the chain-reaction deaths ensued. Other tries merely inconvenienced Archie as he made quick work of the raid and then returned back to defiling the World Tree.
Before the attempts, leadership chanted the mantra, "Archimonde isn't a dps race." Indeed, the key to this fight, similarly to Vashj and Kael, is every member keeping themselves alive. Personally, there were some attempts I got so penned in by fire, my dps dipped below 400; I think at those points, healers were dealing more damage than I was. But it was more important that I stay alive than uber pwn Archie.
Leadership also pointed out that the fight is an "idiot check." Which is to say, as long as you pay attention, you should be able to keep yourself alive. Among the failed attempts, I admit I displayed some idiocy. I'm really good at using my Tears of the Goddess, but one time I tried to time my fall to land without taking any damage, I misjudged, and cratered into the beautiful countryside. Other times, I died not from idiocy but from the bad timing of converging events. Archie periodically aoe fears. He also randomly Grips a member. Archie Gripped me right at the start of the aoe fear. I uncontrollably ran away from the raid and the raid decursers, and consequently ticked to death. Another time, I was running from the demonic fire (I swear I had two or three trails chasing me some attempts) when another patch spawned right on top of me. The debuff burns like a sonabitch and quickly earns you scathing rebukes from leadership and healers. In those cases, fate makes you look more stupid than you really are.
The demonic fire is the key pain-in-the-ass to this fight. I can deal with the air bursts and running to a mage for Grip decursing is usually easy enough too. The aoe fear is easy to either patiently wait for it to end or pop the 2 minute trinket. But the demonic fire meanders around the battlefield with a mind all its own. Two or three trails can blaze simultaneously and it's all too easy to get cut off from the rest of the raid. On the later attempts, I panned my camera out and made sure to cut left or right with the rest of the raid herd. I don't think anyone died our successful attempt and staying together probably had something to do with that success.
The fight is a hell of a ride and I am pumped as all get out that we got it done. Requiem has officially cleared Mount Hyjal. The Friday night team got Mother Shazz done to an impressive 8%, so she'll die tonight.
Woot Requiem!
Interestingly enough, we killed Archimonde after eleven wipes. Some of those first attempts were rock solid. I remember one in particular we had Archie down to 25% before the chain-reaction deaths ensued. Other tries merely inconvenienced Archie as he made quick work of the raid and then returned back to defiling the World Tree.
Before the attempts, leadership chanted the mantra, "Archimonde isn't a dps race." Indeed, the key to this fight, similarly to Vashj and Kael, is every member keeping themselves alive. Personally, there were some attempts I got so penned in by fire, my dps dipped below 400; I think at those points, healers were dealing more damage than I was. But it was more important that I stay alive than uber pwn Archie.
Leadership also pointed out that the fight is an "idiot check." Which is to say, as long as you pay attention, you should be able to keep yourself alive. Among the failed attempts, I admit I displayed some idiocy. I'm really good at using my Tears of the Goddess, but one time I tried to time my fall to land without taking any damage, I misjudged, and cratered into the beautiful countryside. Other times, I died not from idiocy but from the bad timing of converging events. Archie periodically aoe fears. He also randomly Grips a member. Archie Gripped me right at the start of the aoe fear. I uncontrollably ran away from the raid and the raid decursers, and consequently ticked to death. Another time, I was running from the demonic fire (I swear I had two or three trails chasing me some attempts) when another patch spawned right on top of me. The debuff burns like a sonabitch and quickly earns you scathing rebukes from leadership and healers. In those cases, fate makes you look more stupid than you really are.
The demonic fire is the key pain-in-the-ass to this fight. I can deal with the air bursts and running to a mage for Grip decursing is usually easy enough too. The aoe fear is easy to either patiently wait for it to end or pop the 2 minute trinket. But the demonic fire meanders around the battlefield with a mind all its own. Two or three trails can blaze simultaneously and it's all too easy to get cut off from the rest of the raid. On the later attempts, I panned my camera out and made sure to cut left or right with the rest of the raid herd. I don't think anyone died our successful attempt and staying together probably had something to do with that success.
The fight is a hell of a ride and I am pumped as all get out that we got it done. Requiem has officially cleared Mount Hyjal. The Friday night team got Mother Shazz done to an impressive 8%, so she'll die tonight.
Woot Requiem!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Inflation in WoW Part Deux
A few days ago, I blogged at length about the impact all those new daily quests have on the World of Warcraft economy. I wrote that items like primals and Superior Wizard Oil spiked in price from their pre-2.4 levels. A few days ago, that was true. I did buy a stack of oil for a buyout price of 11 gold, up from the usual 7 gold.
Yesterday though, some dude had more then ten stacks on the auction house for the rock bottom buyout price of 5 gold. I bought everything he had, all the while cursing him for wrecking my example.
Yesterday though, some dude had more then ten stacks on the auction house for the rock bottom buyout price of 5 gold. I bought everything he had, all the while cursing him for wrecking my example.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
XP Not for Sale after June 30th
For all you poor slobs still hanging on to XP, Microsoft plans on halting sales of it this June. Looks like they'll stop software support for it early in 2009.
Suckers!
Suckers!
Awakened Sleeping Dragons
X-Play reported the other day that World of Craft, the China edition, recorded one million users logged in at the same time. I know that North America, or at least the United States, has about 10 million total subscribers. I would be curious to hear what their record log in number is. In any case, China is obviously a huge MMO market and probably mostly untapped by the majority of U.S. MMOs.
They also reported that the producers of the upcoming Iron Man movie are concerned about the late April release of Grand Theft Auto IV. With games like Halo 3 shattering peer movie box office revenue, the Iron Man producers expressed trepidation that their demographic may buy GTAIV in lieu of attending the movie.
If I were them, I'd be worried too. I think Hollywood is finally realizing the emerging economic and cultural power video gaming is inheriting.
They also reported that the producers of the upcoming Iron Man movie are concerned about the late April release of Grand Theft Auto IV. With games like Halo 3 shattering peer movie box office revenue, the Iron Man producers expressed trepidation that their demographic may buy GTAIV in lieu of attending the movie.
If I were them, I'd be worried too. I think Hollywood is finally realizing the emerging economic and cultural power video gaming is inheriting.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Requiem Cracks Open Reliquary of Souls
I’ve been so busy frothing at the mouth over Dr. Phil, I nearly forgot to mention that Requiem downed Reliquary of Souls this past Monday. They also made a few attempts at Mother Shazz, getting her down to an impressive 65%. This makes Requiem 4/5 in Mount Hyjal, 6/9 in Black Temple. Soon to be 7/9 in Black Temple, since the guild will likely send Mother Shazz to the retirement home this weekend.
So after a tiny lull of new boss inactivity, the guild is back on track for an Illidan kill within a few months. This is great news because I received permission from Requiem leadership to open a Requiem WebkinZzZz branch the instant Illidan’s corpse hits the floor. Requiem-WebkinZzZz will bring to the WebkinZzZz environment the same raiding excellence it proved in WoW, only transferred to house decorating, pet grooming, and pre-school mini-game dominance.
My only concern is WebkinZzZz chat. Its profanity filter isn’t optional and since most of Requiem’s chat is profane, communication will turn out to be nothing but a long string of wingdings. But if we can defeat Illidan, we can overcome that too.
So after a tiny lull of new boss inactivity, the guild is back on track for an Illidan kill within a few months. This is great news because I received permission from Requiem leadership to open a Requiem WebkinZzZz branch the instant Illidan’s corpse hits the floor. Requiem-WebkinZzZz will bring to the WebkinZzZz environment the same raiding excellence it proved in WoW, only transferred to house decorating, pet grooming, and pre-school mini-game dominance.
My only concern is WebkinZzZz chat. Its profanity filter isn’t optional and since most of Requiem’s chat is profane, communication will turn out to be nothing but a long string of wingdings. But if we can defeat Illidan, we can overcome that too.
Dr. Phil, Ratings-whore Grandmaster
Last week, a story broke about a gaggle of girls who lured their friend to a house and then proceeded to take turns pounding the crap out of her. Allegedly, the whole affair stemmed from some smack talk on their MySpace pages.
That’s not the real story though.
A couple of days ago, a producer for the Dr. Phil show got caught bailing from jail one of the accused girls. Amid a flurry of reporters, the producer escorted the girl to an awaiting zoom car, all the while warding off vulture journalists with such integrity-drenched statements like, “Don’t say anything. She’s got exclusivity!”
Of course, Dr. Phil has since stated that his employee “overstepped” his bounds. But the truth is Dr. Phil overstepped his bounds when his executive producers sent a minion to bail this girl out so that she could appear on his crappy show. The Dr. Phil show has always bore more in common with grocery store tabloid rags than serious therapy, a fact played out by the aggressive manner in which the show attempted to gather this delinquent onto their shadowy stage. If cameras were always following the employees of the The Dr. Phil Show, we would have witnessed scenes like this repeated over and over.
It’s my sincere hope that Dr. Phil's vehicle for ratings-advancement will officially join the likes of The Jerry Springer Show and people will come to their senses and cease viewing Dr. Phil as a legitimate source of mental health expertise. Though I see the show taking a ratings hit from this and the Britney Spears mess from a couple months back, Dr. Phil knows how to package and present sensation; I see his show limping along no matter what lengths he uses to gather his circus freak guests. The only real hope is that fewer and fewer people will join him in the muck.
That’s not the real story though.
A couple of days ago, a producer for the Dr. Phil show got caught bailing from jail one of the accused girls. Amid a flurry of reporters, the producer escorted the girl to an awaiting zoom car, all the while warding off vulture journalists with such integrity-drenched statements like, “Don’t say anything. She’s got exclusivity!”
Of course, Dr. Phil has since stated that his employee “overstepped” his bounds. But the truth is Dr. Phil overstepped his bounds when his executive producers sent a minion to bail this girl out so that she could appear on his crappy show. The Dr. Phil show has always bore more in common with grocery store tabloid rags than serious therapy, a fact played out by the aggressive manner in which the show attempted to gather this delinquent onto their shadowy stage. If cameras were always following the employees of the The Dr. Phil Show, we would have witnessed scenes like this repeated over and over.
It’s my sincere hope that Dr. Phil's vehicle for ratings-advancement will officially join the likes of The Jerry Springer Show and people will come to their senses and cease viewing Dr. Phil as a legitimate source of mental health expertise. Though I see the show taking a ratings hit from this and the Britney Spears mess from a couple months back, Dr. Phil knows how to package and present sensation; I see his show limping along no matter what lengths he uses to gather his circus freak guests. The only real hope is that fewer and fewer people will join him in the muck.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Inflation in World of Warcraft
Wikipedia defines inflation as a rise in the general level of prices over time. In most cases, inflation occurs when surplus money is streamed into the system. Governments sometimes try to bail themselves out of an economic catastrophe by firing up their mint and printing gobs of money. This causes prices for goods and services to rise while simultaneously causing the value of the currency to fall because of simple supply and demand. If more people are spending all that printed money, supply of goods and services goes down. The shortage causes prices to spike. If even more money is flooded into the economy, the trend continues: falling monetary values coinciding rising prices. If left uncontrolled, inflation can lead to such devaluation, the currency becomes worth more as supply of paper than as money and people lack the money to buy even the most basic of necessities.
Germany at the end of World War I is an excellent example of the effects of inflation. In fact, inflation reached such epic proportions in post-war Germany, it nearly collapsed the country's economy and government. Many historians point to Germany's hyper-inflation, nationalism, and resentment at paying war reparations as the foundation for the rise of Adolf Hitler and the Nazi party and therefore a fundamental cause of World War II.
Surprisingly enough, World of Warcraft is also a good example of inflation. Increasingly, MMOs are developing sophisticated economic systems embedded in their core gameplay. And make no mistake, most players expect a robust economic model that reflects a supply/demand market economy, including an auction house for them to buy and sell good from other players. I have heard that some MMOs have gone so far as to hire real economists to help advise them how to build and maintain their game's economy.
WoW's Patch 2.4 has had some some fascinating consequences on the game's economic model. To begin with, Blizzard expanded the number of daily quests a player can perform each day from ten to a whopping twenty-five. You don't have to be a financial rocket-science to speculate that's going to have some affect on the game's economy.
Indeed it has. If you check the auction house lately, you have probably noticed a spike in prices, particularly with consumables that are always in demand but have had fairly fixed price points in the past months. Primals are a great example. Before 2.4, most primals could be bought-out for around 20 gold. Post 2.4, the price is now closer to 30. Personally, I've noticed Superior Wizard Oil spiking in price. I could usually find a pack of five for around 7 gold, but lately I've had to pay more like 10 or 11. These are just a few examples; check the current prices of herbs, ore, and pots, and you'll likely track a rise in prices.
The reason for this is quite simple and bears a striking resemblance to the real world economy. Players have access to more daily quests then ever before and they can now complete twenty-five of them per day. Each daily averages around 10 gold. Consequently, players are earning more gold than they ever have before and they're spending it. Primals, at the old price of 20 gold each, are being snatched up quickly by players flush with twenty-five-daily-quests-per-day money. When sellers find their stock quickly depleted, they might first put more goods up for sale at the old prices. But they will find that stock bought up quickly too. Their natural, inevitable reaction: raise their prices.
And these prices will continue to rise until they reach a point where the majority of players' current income level can't meet the new price point. This is when prices will finally stabilize and become once again predictable, but higher than they were before all that new gold flooded the market.
I find it curious that Blizzard chose to deliberately inflate their economy. Yes, deliberately. They knew exactly what they were doing and they knew for certain the consequences of the daily quest expansion. I heard, though can't confirm, that Blizzard means to drive gold farming out of business. Gold farmers contribute to inflation because they sell quantities of in-game money for real world cash. This drives prices up for the same reason described above. The company has always fought (at least on the surface) the gold-farming industry and it would make sense that the post 2.4 economy is their new weapon.
Outside of that, I can't think of a good reason for this deliberate inflation. Prices will now rise permanently and players will have to perform dailies if they want to afford goods on the auction house. Might that be their ultimate rationale? Yet another carrot dangling in front of the ox-like WoW player base to keep them hooked and subscribed and playing?
It's not nicknamed World of Warcrack for nothing.
Germany at the end of World War I is an excellent example of the effects of inflation. In fact, inflation reached such epic proportions in post-war Germany, it nearly collapsed the country's economy and government. Many historians point to Germany's hyper-inflation, nationalism, and resentment at paying war reparations as the foundation for the rise of Adolf Hitler and the Nazi party and therefore a fundamental cause of World War II.
Surprisingly enough, World of Warcraft is also a good example of inflation. Increasingly, MMOs are developing sophisticated economic systems embedded in their core gameplay. And make no mistake, most players expect a robust economic model that reflects a supply/demand market economy, including an auction house for them to buy and sell good from other players. I have heard that some MMOs have gone so far as to hire real economists to help advise them how to build and maintain their game's economy.
WoW's Patch 2.4 has had some some fascinating consequences on the game's economic model. To begin with, Blizzard expanded the number of daily quests a player can perform each day from ten to a whopping twenty-five. You don't have to be a financial rocket-science to speculate that's going to have some affect on the game's economy.
Indeed it has. If you check the auction house lately, you have probably noticed a spike in prices, particularly with consumables that are always in demand but have had fairly fixed price points in the past months. Primals are a great example. Before 2.4, most primals could be bought-out for around 20 gold. Post 2.4, the price is now closer to 30. Personally, I've noticed Superior Wizard Oil spiking in price. I could usually find a pack of five for around 7 gold, but lately I've had to pay more like 10 or 11. These are just a few examples; check the current prices of herbs, ore, and pots, and you'll likely track a rise in prices.
The reason for this is quite simple and bears a striking resemblance to the real world economy. Players have access to more daily quests then ever before and they can now complete twenty-five of them per day. Each daily averages around 10 gold. Consequently, players are earning more gold than they ever have before and they're spending it. Primals, at the old price of 20 gold each, are being snatched up quickly by players flush with twenty-five-daily-quests-per-day money. When sellers find their stock quickly depleted, they might first put more goods up for sale at the old prices. But they will find that stock bought up quickly too. Their natural, inevitable reaction: raise their prices.
And these prices will continue to rise until they reach a point where the majority of players' current income level can't meet the new price point. This is when prices will finally stabilize and become once again predictable, but higher than they were before all that new gold flooded the market.
I find it curious that Blizzard chose to deliberately inflate their economy. Yes, deliberately. They knew exactly what they were doing and they knew for certain the consequences of the daily quest expansion. I heard, though can't confirm, that Blizzard means to drive gold farming out of business. Gold farmers contribute to inflation because they sell quantities of in-game money for real world cash. This drives prices up for the same reason described above. The company has always fought (at least on the surface) the gold-farming industry and it would make sense that the post 2.4 economy is their new weapon.
Outside of that, I can't think of a good reason for this deliberate inflation. Prices will now rise permanently and players will have to perform dailies if they want to afford goods on the auction house. Might that be their ultimate rationale? Yet another carrot dangling in front of the ox-like WoW player base to keep them hooked and subscribed and playing?
It's not nicknamed World of Warcrack for nothing.
Monday, April 14, 2008
TV on the Radio
Ok, sure, the lead singer looks like Levar Burton without the spandex. Even with that eerie Star Trek mojo lurking in the background, these guys make some awesome music. I'd never heard of them before Wolf Like Me came on my alternative TV channel. But I'm digging their groove now.
Check out the official video for Wolf Like Me. It's got some of the most realistic claymation/CGI wolves I've ever seen.
Rawr.
Check out the official video for Wolf Like Me. It's got some of the most realistic claymation/CGI wolves I've ever seen.
Rawr.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
The School District Giveth . . .
That sweet-ass high school library job I landed last month? I think it’s gone. It likely no longer exists. In all probability, there won’t be a position to transfer to.
My school district claims it is fast running out of money and will be insolvent within two short years. To highlight how dramatic a fiscal change this represents, this same school district completed construction on a highly controversial, multi-million dollar football stadium/instructional center not even three years ago.
Quite a turn of fortunes I’d say.
Since almost 90% of the district’s budget goes to personnel costs, administration has begun cutting to make up for this year’s budget short fall. The source of the problem is my district’s unique tax base (or lack thereof). It’s primarily a district made up of homeowners. There’s very little business tax revenue, and what little there is manages to shift their money around in such a way to minimize what they actually pay. Compounding this, the Texas legislature capped the amount the district can tax its homeowners. So even though the district is experiencing massive growth, its revenue isn’t keeping pace. In other words, students are overflowing schools, but the amount the community pays in taxes doesn’t meet that reality.
So, that high school opening will be cut and I won’t be transferring anywhere. As other high school librarians retire or resign, their positions will be eliminated as well until every high school is down to one librarian. Or until the shortfall is addressed by the legislature. Or until a meteor falls from the sky and wipes out all humanity in one gigantic explosion rendering Texas school finance reform irrelevant. Moot.
I am no longer Conan the Librarian.
The school district taketh away.
My school district claims it is fast running out of money and will be insolvent within two short years. To highlight how dramatic a fiscal change this represents, this same school district completed construction on a highly controversial, multi-million dollar football stadium/instructional center not even three years ago.
Quite a turn of fortunes I’d say.
Since almost 90% of the district’s budget goes to personnel costs, administration has begun cutting to make up for this year’s budget short fall. The source of the problem is my district’s unique tax base (or lack thereof). It’s primarily a district made up of homeowners. There’s very little business tax revenue, and what little there is manages to shift their money around in such a way to minimize what they actually pay. Compounding this, the Texas legislature capped the amount the district can tax its homeowners. So even though the district is experiencing massive growth, its revenue isn’t keeping pace. In other words, students are overflowing schools, but the amount the community pays in taxes doesn’t meet that reality.
So, that high school opening will be cut and I won’t be transferring anywhere. As other high school librarians retire or resign, their positions will be eliminated as well until every high school is down to one librarian. Or until the shortfall is addressed by the legislature. Or until a meteor falls from the sky and wipes out all humanity in one gigantic explosion rendering Texas school finance reform irrelevant. Moot.
I am no longer Conan the Librarian.
The school district taketh away.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
A Typical Day at Work
I don't know how or when or why, but someone snuck into my library and took a picture of me while I was working:
Damn you paparazzi!
Damn you paparazzi!
Grindhouse
You might have heard Grindhouse flopped at the box office last year. If that's been keeping you from renting the movie, don't let it. Drop what you're doing, drive to Nutbusters or log in to your Netflix account, and rent this movie.
Movies actually. It's a double-feature, with Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror first, Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof second. Interspersed are faux trailers that are worth the price of admission all by themselves. Thanksgiving is an especially notable trailer, about a slasher pilgrim who terrorizes a small community during Thanksgiving. The best part is when he kills grandma, trusses her up like a turkey, cooks her, and then serves her to the tied up family. I also enjoyed the scene with the topless cheerleader jumping on the trampoline for her appreciative boyfriend; the slasher sneaks up on them and provides some necessary decapitations. It's all so over the top, I was howling with laughter in between gasps and grimaces. At the end of the trailer, the pilgrim slasher has a decapitated head stuffed in a cooked turkey; I can't you what he's doing to it.
This is a family blog, you know. Plus, I don't want anymore trouble from the FCC.
Of the two movies, Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror is hands down the better of the two. Bruce Willis leads a cadre of soldiers trying to protect a supply of green noxious gas that turns people into man-eating zombies if they breath it. Again, the action and gore is done to such an extreme, you'll be chuckling throughout all the B-movie mayhem and storyline. Both movies are made to look like 70s reel movies, complete with cracking in the film, scene skips, and repeating or missing dialogue. For instance, the love scene between Rose McGown and Freddy Rodriguez (yup, that short dude from Six Feet Under) degenerates into melting celluloid. When the movie "cranks" back up, the sheriff is apologizing to Freddy, saying he didn't realize he was El Wray and finally hands him a gun. Death Proof does the same thing: the movie flashes a "missing reel" message just as Vanessa Ferlito is about to give Kurt Russel a lap dance. When the movie returns, the lap dance is long over and everyone is in the parking lot getting ready to leave.
Death Proof doesn't measure up to Planet Terror because it starts slow and maintains a mostly slow pace throughout. I enjoy Tarantino dialogue, but not forty-five solid minutes of it. Usually the clever lines of his characters are sandwiched between some action. But in Death Proof, nearly an hour passes before anything interesting happens. The idea for the movie is great, a stunt man who "death proofs" his car and then uses it to murder an automobile full of women. It's just its execution is a letdown coming off of Rodriguez's explosive and entertaining first half.
Movies actually. It's a double-feature, with Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror first, Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof second. Interspersed are faux trailers that are worth the price of admission all by themselves. Thanksgiving is an especially notable trailer, about a slasher pilgrim who terrorizes a small community during Thanksgiving. The best part is when he kills grandma, trusses her up like a turkey, cooks her, and then serves her to the tied up family. I also enjoyed the scene with the topless cheerleader jumping on the trampoline for her appreciative boyfriend; the slasher sneaks up on them and provides some necessary decapitations. It's all so over the top, I was howling with laughter in between gasps and grimaces. At the end of the trailer, the pilgrim slasher has a decapitated head stuffed in a cooked turkey; I can't you what he's doing to it.
This is a family blog, you know. Plus, I don't want anymore trouble from the FCC.
Of the two movies, Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror is hands down the better of the two. Bruce Willis leads a cadre of soldiers trying to protect a supply of green noxious gas that turns people into man-eating zombies if they breath it. Again, the action and gore is done to such an extreme, you'll be chuckling throughout all the B-movie mayhem and storyline. Both movies are made to look like 70s reel movies, complete with cracking in the film, scene skips, and repeating or missing dialogue. For instance, the love scene between Rose McGown and Freddy Rodriguez (yup, that short dude from Six Feet Under) degenerates into melting celluloid. When the movie "cranks" back up, the sheriff is apologizing to Freddy, saying he didn't realize he was El Wray and finally hands him a gun. Death Proof does the same thing: the movie flashes a "missing reel" message just as Vanessa Ferlito is about to give Kurt Russel a lap dance. When the movie returns, the lap dance is long over and everyone is in the parking lot getting ready to leave.
Death Proof doesn't measure up to Planet Terror because it starts slow and maintains a mostly slow pace throughout. I enjoy Tarantino dialogue, but not forty-five solid minutes of it. Usually the clever lines of his characters are sandwiched between some action. But in Death Proof, nearly an hour passes before anything interesting happens. The idea for the movie is great, a stunt man who "death proofs" his car and then uses it to murder an automobile full of women. It's just its execution is a letdown coming off of Rodriguez's explosive and entertaining first half.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
I Vote Apollo Off the American Idol Flight Deck
Wifezilla and I sat down and watched the season four premiere of Battlestar Galactica last night. This last season isn't off to a strong start.
To recap, season three left off with a bang. Starbuck came flying out of no where claiming she'd found Earth and four main characters discovered the ringing music in their heads means they've been Cylons all along; it all came together beautifully in those last five minutes and had me shaking Wifezilla in anticipation for what would happen next.
The season four premiere started strong enough, with a sweet-ass fire-fight between the Galactica fleet and the Cylons. But the moment Starbuck stepped foot on board the Galactica, the pacing zigzagged, then crawled. Predictably, everyone suspects Starbuck might be a Cylon sent to spy or terrorize. Which she passionately denies.
But I've seen that already. A lot. Cue the yawning.
It gets worse though. Baltar gets whisked away by these strangely cloaked people who take him to an uninhabited portion of a ship's hold. They've got alters devoted to him and they bring him their sick kids for him to cure. I guess I blinked and missed an entire story thread here. Why in the hell does he have a cult worshiping him? And more importantly, how come their "secret" hideout is adjacent to a public restroom, a convenient venue for a father bent on revenge for the death of his son to attack Baltar? That entire storyline makes no sense, is boring as hell, and managed to diffuse all the tension and anticipation I was feeling at the end of season three.
Finally, now many times is Apollo going to quit flying and Adama give him his wings back? Holy crap, they must have gone through that little ritual at least three times already in as many TV seasons. Sure, Apollo turned him down this last time, rambling on about public service or some such rubbish. Never mind they've spent the entire life of the show bitching about the severe shortage of trained pilots, Apollo is going to run for the Senate because apparently there's an even greater shortage of crooked politicians. But like a main character being suspected of Cylonism, I've seen Apollo's off-again on-again romance with flying too many times already. I swear by my TV remote, if Apollo joins the fleet again and quits only to have Adama offer him his wings back, I'm going to not only start watching American Idol, but genuinely vote for an act I think is best.
So Apollo, you better steer clear of that flight deck now, ya hear? 'Cause I'll vote for the next Sanjaya before you can say "cockpit."
To recap, season three left off with a bang. Starbuck came flying out of no where claiming she'd found Earth and four main characters discovered the ringing music in their heads means they've been Cylons all along; it all came together beautifully in those last five minutes and had me shaking Wifezilla in anticipation for what would happen next.
The season four premiere started strong enough, with a sweet-ass fire-fight between the Galactica fleet and the Cylons. But the moment Starbuck stepped foot on board the Galactica, the pacing zigzagged, then crawled. Predictably, everyone suspects Starbuck might be a Cylon sent to spy or terrorize. Which she passionately denies.
But I've seen that already. A lot. Cue the yawning.
It gets worse though. Baltar gets whisked away by these strangely cloaked people who take him to an uninhabited portion of a ship's hold. They've got alters devoted to him and they bring him their sick kids for him to cure. I guess I blinked and missed an entire story thread here. Why in the hell does he have a cult worshiping him? And more importantly, how come their "secret" hideout is adjacent to a public restroom, a convenient venue for a father bent on revenge for the death of his son to attack Baltar? That entire storyline makes no sense, is boring as hell, and managed to diffuse all the tension and anticipation I was feeling at the end of season three.
Finally, now many times is Apollo going to quit flying and Adama give him his wings back? Holy crap, they must have gone through that little ritual at least three times already in as many TV seasons. Sure, Apollo turned him down this last time, rambling on about public service or some such rubbish. Never mind they've spent the entire life of the show bitching about the severe shortage of trained pilots, Apollo is going to run for the Senate because apparently there's an even greater shortage of crooked politicians. But like a main character being suspected of Cylonism, I've seen Apollo's off-again on-again romance with flying too many times already. I swear by my TV remote, if Apollo joins the fleet again and quits only to have Adama offer him his wings back, I'm going to not only start watching American Idol, but genuinely vote for an act I think is best.
So Apollo, you better steer clear of that flight deck now, ya hear? 'Cause I'll vote for the next Sanjaya before you can say "cockpit."
Requiem Boils Bloodboil's Blood
Try saying that fifty times fast.
Congrats to Requiem for pwning Bloodboil last night. It's a healing intensive fight with the usual ballet of shifting movement and jumping about. A genuine accomplishment.
I sense much fear of Requiem in Illidan.
Congrats to Requiem for pwning Bloodboil last night. It's a healing intensive fight with the usual ballet of shifting movement and jumping about. A genuine accomplishment.
I sense much fear of Requiem in Illidan.
Monday, April 7, 2008
That's a Whole Mess of Entries
The dudes at Penny Arcade are running a contest for some WoW collectible trading cards. All you have to do is write a World of Warcraft story in ten words.
In their blog today, Gabe reports he's received 16,000 entries.
Why do I have the feeling that instead of reading any of them, they're going to instead print them out en masse, mix them in a giant bin (just like the ones you see in the state lottery), and then draw a winner at random?
Nah, I'm sure they'll read all 16,000.
Make that 16,001:
"I enjoy playing World of Warcraft a lot at home."
1:16,000. I like those odds.
In their blog today, Gabe reports he's received 16,000 entries.
Why do I have the feeling that instead of reading any of them, they're going to instead print them out en masse, mix them in a giant bin (just like the ones you see in the state lottery), and then draw a winner at random?
Nah, I'm sure they'll read all 16,000.
Make that 16,001:
"I enjoy playing World of Warcraft a lot at home."
1:16,000. I like those odds.
Radagast the Brown: Gandalf's Tree-hugging Friend
Two of my kin advertised Book 2, Chapter 3: Breeders of the Dead yesterday and I immediately pounced. I normally have to PUG my books, so getting the opportunity to knock one out with kin was a drop-everything-and-go event. It didn't take long to max the group out with three more and we quickly tore through the chapters.
The peak of the book chain is Chapter 8: The Red-pass. By the time we reached this chapter, one of our lore-masters had to leave. We were really down to four because one of the champions claimed he was lagging bad and I observed him mostly just standing around absorbing the occasional group heal. Nevertheless, we successfully completed it.
The beginning of the instance is hilarious, though I'm sure not intentionally. At the very start, you talk to Radagast the Brown. This guy looks just like Gandalf except he's . . . garbed in brown. He's from the same order as Gandalf and just as much a badass. After speaking to Radagast, he starts making his way into the Red-pass. The entire zone is corrupted, to the point where the very vegetation turns on us and attacks. After we chop some trees down and perform some selective weeding, Radagast continues his stroll. At one point, he stops and talks to a fox. He talks to it about the surrounding corruption and the fox seems to like what he says because he starts following him. More trees attack us and after they're in the wood pile, Radagast talks to a frog who also joins us. The dude is like Snow White, with sparrows floating from the sky and perching on his shoulder singing. He later stops and talks to a squirrel, asking him, "My friend, where in the corruption do you find a safe place to store your nuts."
I kid you not, he actually said that.
I broke out laughing and nearly killed a fellowship member neglecting my healing duties. I think Radagast was done talking with the zone's woodland creatures at that point, in which case the instance started throwing undead wraiths and ghouls at us instead. I died midway through because no one knew how to tank and my healing aggro attracted two mobs who proceeded to pound on me with the rest of my fellowship blissfully unaware. Or aware but uncaring. Probably the latter.
Still, a lot of fun and Book 2 done. Only 11 more to go.
The peak of the book chain is Chapter 8: The Red-pass. By the time we reached this chapter, one of our lore-masters had to leave. We were really down to four because one of the champions claimed he was lagging bad and I observed him mostly just standing around absorbing the occasional group heal. Nevertheless, we successfully completed it.
The beginning of the instance is hilarious, though I'm sure not intentionally. At the very start, you talk to Radagast the Brown. This guy looks just like Gandalf except he's . . . garbed in brown. He's from the same order as Gandalf and just as much a badass. After speaking to Radagast, he starts making his way into the Red-pass. The entire zone is corrupted, to the point where the very vegetation turns on us and attacks. After we chop some trees down and perform some selective weeding, Radagast continues his stroll. At one point, he stops and talks to a fox. He talks to it about the surrounding corruption and the fox seems to like what he says because he starts following him. More trees attack us and after they're in the wood pile, Radagast talks to a frog who also joins us. The dude is like Snow White, with sparrows floating from the sky and perching on his shoulder singing. He later stops and talks to a squirrel, asking him, "My friend, where in the corruption do you find a safe place to store your nuts."
I kid you not, he actually said that.
I broke out laughing and nearly killed a fellowship member neglecting my healing duties. I think Radagast was done talking with the zone's woodland creatures at that point, in which case the instance started throwing undead wraiths and ghouls at us instead. I died midway through because no one knew how to tank and my healing aggro attracted two mobs who proceeded to pound on me with the rest of my fellowship blissfully unaware. Or aware but uncaring. Probably the latter.
Still, a lot of fun and Book 2 done. Only 11 more to go.
Spanking Mount Hyjal and Black Temple
I raided Thursday and Friday nights with my guild, Requiem. Even though we've hit a snag with Archimonde and Bloodboil, we absolutely tore through everything leading up to those two bosses. Everything in MH and BT was one-shotted, commandingly in most cases. The only wipe, as I recall, occurred in BT after a bad trash pull.
And it's soooooo good to see three T6 drops off Azgalor. I haven't had enough points to win my T6 gloves yet, but they've dropped both times I've been there and it's comforting to know that someone in my token group is snagging theirs. It was additionally satisfying to walk away from both instances with 18 badges in my pack.
And it's soooooo good to see three T6 drops off Azgalor. I haven't had enough points to win my T6 gloves yet, but they've dropped both times I've been there and it's comforting to know that someone in my token group is snagging theirs. It was additionally satisfying to walk away from both instances with 18 badges in my pack.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
"Warlocks" Come from Superbad
Awhile back, I pondered why Rod Ryan of the The Buzz radio station suddenly started referring to women's breasts as "warlocks." It seemed so completely random and out of the blue, and yet no one could reference it.
Well, I finally got around to watching Superbad and now I know where Rod borrowed the term. The main character, Seth, only says it once, but I guess that was enough for Rod to latch on to it.
Great movie, by the way. Best cop team in movie history.
Period.
Well, I finally got around to watching Superbad and now I know where Rod borrowed the term. The main character, Seth, only says it once, but I guess that was enough for Rod to latch on to it.
Great movie, by the way. Best cop team in movie history.
Period.
Book 13: Doom of the Last King Preview
Turbine updated their site with a preview of Book 13: Doom of the Last King for Lord of the Rings Online. The update, due out sometime this April, introduces a new area for players to explore, the Bay of Forochel. It sounds like much of the new zone is soloable, designed for players 44-50.
Friday, April 4, 2008
More Battlestar Galactica Goodness
The series finale of Battlestar Galactica premieres tonight on the SciFi channel. I highly recommend it and not just because there's mostly crap on TV nowadays. I mean, if you're a huge Dancing with the Stars or American Idol fan, then you've got no complaints; you can't swing a dead B-star by the leg without hitting one of those crappy shows.
The rest of us our hunkering down waiting for the nuclear fallout to clear.
The rest of us our hunkering down waiting for the nuclear fallout to clear.
Sponge (Not Bob)
When we used to have Comcast Cable (It’s Comcraptic!), we’d listen to their classical music channel during dinner. They had three different channels, one for opera and the other two for hardcore and pop classical music. We almost always picked the pop classical channel and dined whilst listening to such fine far as Pachelbel’s Canon or Air on the G String (also known by me as Playing Air while wearing a G string.)
AT&T has a similar service, but it’s much worse. They’ve got just one channel they dub as classical and it plays mostly piano and opera music. And the opera selection is downright horrible. Most of the chicks and dudes “singing” sound like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart. I’ve often been forced to interrupt my dining to shut off the caterwauling.
The other day, apparently when some opera singer was having their genitalia forcibly removed and someone recorded it, I wandered up the channel selection rather than shutting the receiver off. I stumbled upon a channel they called alternative. I have no faith in this designation anymore. It used to be a tightly packed subgenre of rock music, but it’s gotten so bloated, it no longer means anything to me anymore. Nevertheless, the channel was playing something that caught my attention. A familiar riff, a catchy tune.
It was Sponge! And the song playing was Plowed. I played the hell out of that CD, Rotting Piñata, back in the day. In fact, when I moved to Houston back in ’96, Sponge singles off of Rotting Piñata was virtually the only thing The Buzz played back then. Usually, when The Buzz plays a band or a song into the ground, I grow to hate that particular artist forever. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones would be an excellent example of this phenomenon. To this day, I still get an uncontrollable urge to punch someone in their fat face when I hear ANY Mighty Mighty Bosstones song.
But I didn’t get sick of Sponge. I liked the songs from Rotting Piñata so much, I ran out and bought the CD. Twelve years later, my TV is blaring Plowed and I’m floored at how one song brings back so many memories of my first years here in Houston. The songs on that album have held up remarkably well this past decade. The Buzz could add them to their current play list today and they’d fit right in with some of the best new music out there. I think Molly (Sixteen Candles Down the Drain) got even more playtime than Plowed and I’m not even sure Fields even made the radio, but the entire CD is strong.
I’m grateful I accidently found it again.
AT&T has a similar service, but it’s much worse. They’ve got just one channel they dub as classical and it plays mostly piano and opera music. And the opera selection is downright horrible. Most of the chicks and dudes “singing” sound like Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart. I’ve often been forced to interrupt my dining to shut off the caterwauling.
The other day, apparently when some opera singer was having their genitalia forcibly removed and someone recorded it, I wandered up the channel selection rather than shutting the receiver off. I stumbled upon a channel they called alternative. I have no faith in this designation anymore. It used to be a tightly packed subgenre of rock music, but it’s gotten so bloated, it no longer means anything to me anymore. Nevertheless, the channel was playing something that caught my attention. A familiar riff, a catchy tune.
It was Sponge! And the song playing was Plowed. I played the hell out of that CD, Rotting Piñata, back in the day. In fact, when I moved to Houston back in ’96, Sponge singles off of Rotting Piñata was virtually the only thing The Buzz played back then. Usually, when The Buzz plays a band or a song into the ground, I grow to hate that particular artist forever. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones would be an excellent example of this phenomenon. To this day, I still get an uncontrollable urge to punch someone in their fat face when I hear ANY Mighty Mighty Bosstones song.
But I didn’t get sick of Sponge. I liked the songs from Rotting Piñata so much, I ran out and bought the CD. Twelve years later, my TV is blaring Plowed and I’m floored at how one song brings back so many memories of my first years here in Houston. The songs on that album have held up remarkably well this past decade. The Buzz could add them to their current play list today and they’d fit right in with some of the best new music out there. I think Molly (Sixteen Candles Down the Drain) got even more playtime than Plowed and I’m not even sure Fields even made the radio, but the entire CD is strong.
I’m grateful I accidently found it again.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
King Under the Mountain
The Unlock the Mines of Moria site has been updated with a new game you can play to "unlock" the fabled door to Moria. It's called King Under the Mountain and it's a fun consumer of time.
D&D dorks will squeal with delight when they see all those octahedrons.
An occasional ad will interrupt your fun, tempting you with a 7 day trial of Lord of the Rings Online. Not to be unexpected given the entire site is part of a promotional campaign for the Lord of the Rings Expansion: Mines of Moria.
D&D dorks will squeal with delight when they see all those octahedrons.
An occasional ad will interrupt your fun, tempting you with a 7 day trial of Lord of the Rings Online. Not to be unexpected given the entire site is part of a promotional campaign for the Lord of the Rings Expansion: Mines of Moria.
Gamespot Previews GeForce 9800 GTX
You can find the preview here.
Be sure to scroll down and read what the masses have to say about the card's performance rankings. They seem pretty unanimous in their disappointment.
I'd check some more sources to be sure, but if you've been holding out for the 98XX series, I'd wait no more. Go out and get a 8800 GTX or GT and save yourself some dough.
Be sure to scroll down and read what the masses have to say about the card's performance rankings. They seem pretty unanimous in their disappointment.
I'd check some more sources to be sure, but if you've been holding out for the 98XX series, I'd wait no more. Go out and get a 8800 GTX or GT and save yourself some dough.
Shia LeBeouf Scale of Dickery
1UP has an excellent summary of Tuesday's tomfoolery across the Web. The site ranks pranks on a scale of one to ten Shia LeBeouf because the dudes at 1UP are certain that "Shia LaBeouf is probably a big jerk."
I think that's a pretty safe bet.
I do heartily agree with the WoW and LoTRO pranks ranking only 4 Shia LeBeoufs each. I found them both really funny, but neither attempted to fool gullible spectators. The WoW prank from two years ago was pretty good. I remember people getting really pissed off at the prospect of playing a "wisp."
I think that's a pretty safe bet.
I do heartily agree with the WoW and LoTRO pranks ranking only 4 Shia LeBeoufs each. I found them both really funny, but neither attempted to fool gullible spectators. The WoW prank from two years ago was pretty good. I remember people getting really pissed off at the prospect of playing a "wisp."
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
ABCs and Rs
Check out Hallie's latest spelling test. Take a close look at the only one she got wrong, #10.
I'm framing this baby.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Doncha Hate April Fool's Day?
Well, I sat down to write the next great American novel, but all I could come up with is a wise-cracking chimpazee who can count cards and wins a million dollars in Vegas only to end up getting gunned down and robbed by the Irish mafia.
So I went ahead and called 1-800-GOFEDGOV and discovered I COULD file an appeal. Damn you Mr. Terry Bradshaw for lying! The FCC approved it, stating Furious Cognition wasn't any worse than most of the legal porn sites out there. They quickly added it wasn't any better either.
And so the blog must go on!
Speaking of other April 1st events around the world, Blizzard posted their perennial April Fool's spoof, and this one is a doozy! The Molten Core!? For consoles!? I lawled, I cried, I watched the trailer for free. A must see, even if you don't play WoW. The Bard Hero class is pretty funny too.
So I went ahead and called 1-800-GOFEDGOV and discovered I COULD file an appeal. Damn you Mr. Terry Bradshaw for lying! The FCC approved it, stating Furious Cognition wasn't any worse than most of the legal porn sites out there. They quickly added it wasn't any better either.
And so the blog must go on!
Speaking of other April 1st events around the world, Blizzard posted their perennial April Fool's spoof, and this one is a doozy! The Molten Core!? For consoles!? I lawled, I cried, I watched the trailer for free. A must see, even if you don't play WoW. The Bard Hero class is pretty funny too.
Furious Cognition's Last Post
Mr. Terry Bradshaw of the FCC (Federal Communications Commission) sent me this notice in the mail today:
To Whom It May Concern:
In the federal government’s effort to clean up the Internet, I am informing you that I am empowered by the FCC to shut your site down, effective April 2, 2008. The FCC has established a modest criteria that measure the value of blogs and websites that originate here in the United States. Your site/blog, FURIOUS COGNITION, was evaluated with that criteria and was found wanting. Please understand, the established criteria set a low standard and you should be most ashamed your little blog couldn’t meet it.
If you have any questions, please feel free to call 1-800-GOFEDGOV, ext. 214597379. For appealing this decision, call the aforementioned number, but realize that there is no actual appeal process. Finally, if you establish a new blog under a new name but with the same driveling content, you may be prosecuted under statute 345.41 and face fines of up to $100,000 and a prison term not to exceed five years.
Love,
Terry Bradshaw
FCC Internet Cleanliness Liason
So.
This is Furious Cognition’s last post. Now that I am banned by the federal government for making daily observations of the gaming world and my own personal life, I must find a new writing focus to harness my raw creative abilities. To this end, I have now started work on the next great American novel.
To hit store shelves this Christmas.
Seriously.
To Whom It May Concern:
In the federal government’s effort to clean up the Internet, I am informing you that I am empowered by the FCC to shut your site down, effective April 2, 2008. The FCC has established a modest criteria that measure the value of blogs and websites that originate here in the United States. Your site/blog, FURIOUS COGNITION, was evaluated with that criteria and was found wanting. Please understand, the established criteria set a low standard and you should be most ashamed your little blog couldn’t meet it.
If you have any questions, please feel free to call 1-800-GOFEDGOV, ext. 214597379. For appealing this decision, call the aforementioned number, but realize that there is no actual appeal process. Finally, if you establish a new blog under a new name but with the same driveling content, you may be prosecuted under statute 345.41 and face fines of up to $100,000 and a prison term not to exceed five years.
Love,
Terry Bradshaw
FCC Internet Cleanliness Liason
So.
This is Furious Cognition’s last post. Now that I am banned by the federal government for making daily observations of the gaming world and my own personal life, I must find a new writing focus to harness my raw creative abilities. To this end, I have now started work on the next great American novel.
To hit store shelves this Christmas.
Seriously.
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