The Hard Sell

I played Rock Band for the briefest of time last weekend. Maybe three hours all total on my brother's 360. And now I feel like an addict going through withdrawal. I hear songs on the radio and wonder what the drum part would be like. I think back to Blue Oyster Cult's Don't Fear the Reaper and the train wreck I wrought while drumming it and wanting to practice so I can swap boos and jeers for undying adulation. I really, really want to jam out to Interstate Love Song.

The problem in all this is I don't own a console. That's what we in the married business call a financial barrier. Putting aside the issue of convincing Wifezilla, I've been studying the big three next-gen console systems. I've given up consideration of a PS3. The system starts at $500 and I don't care about Blu-ray enough for the price difference. I know a Wii is all the rage, but I don't think Rock Band is in that system's library. So that leaves me with really only one option, a X-box 360.

I've been doing some research and the 360 has three price options: arcade, premium, and elite. Arcade has no hard drive or HD support, so it's out. Elite is . . . black, has an extra controller, comes with an HDMI cable, and has a massive 120 gig hard drive. All for around $450. And then there's the premium option, a 20 gig hard drive configuration that supports HDMI, but doesn't come with the cable. I've seen these systems at around $350 and it's likely what I'll end up getting.

But the investment doesn't stop there. My current stereo receiver is more than five years old. It's great, but it was probably manufactured before HDMI was even invented. Without HDMI ports, I'd have to run the X-box directly through the TV or through the receiver. Neither is viable because there just aren't enough ports for all the components I want to keep.

Long story short, I need to buy a new stereo receiver. I'm sticking with Sony because everything I buy from them lasts until I'm done with it (I can't say the same thing for some of the JVC, Pioneer, and Canon electronics I've owned). I think I'm going to buy this. It's got three HDMI and two digital optical inputs. The 360 and my HD-DVD player will take up two HDMI slots. I think video and audio run through that, but if they don't, I'll use both digital optical inputs. If my cable box supports HDMI, it will take the last input.

So that's $300 right there. The Rock Band kit is about $170, a bit cheaper at Walmart. Saving $10 might not be worth stepping into the cesspool of a store, but I've stooped for worse. Wifezilla naturally blanches at the prospect of spending this kind of bling. But it can't be avoided. I've got the bug and I'm starting to get the shakes from not being able to feux jam out. Plus, I really want to play with Wifezilla. We do precious few activities together. There's, uh, you know.

Yeeaah.

And then we like to watch TV and movies together. But that's pretty much it. The two snotbags hoard our time the way Dr. Phil does public affection. After they're cared for, there isn't a lot of discretionary time left over. So Rock Band is my Holy Grail of gaming, a video game that my wife will actually play. God knows I've tried to get her to play WoW or Oblivion. For some reason, showing her the bikini-clad toon she could play never sealed the deal. But she's good at Rock Band and I see us tucking in the snotbags and then hitting the stage frequently. And when the girls are a bit older, we'll have a full ensemble. I've already come up with two band name options: Moldy Garbage or Wad of Hair You Pull From the Shower Drain.

I know, the last one is too long. Screw you, I like it.