Fresh from yesterday's victorious faucet installation, I woke up eager to slap another one in. I dove in right after my workout. Unlike yesterday, the old drain pipe came out effortlessly, in less than five minutes. I told myself, "James, you learned some skills yesterday and now you're already applying them to greater efficacy and efficiency." Done patting myself on the back, I set to unhooking the supply lines.
That's when Murphy's Law gets wind that I'm on cruise control to a near perfect installation. He arrives on scene ethereally and proceeds to piss all over me and the faucet I'm trying to rip out.
But I don't know Murphy is here yet, peeing on me, so I work determinedly, confidently. I loosen the supply line nuts and faucet anchors. I notice that both black washers separated from the nuts but thought nothing of them until I went to separate the faucet from the supply lines.
Neither line would budge.
I pulled. I jiggled. I twisted, though delicately because the supply lines are pieces of crap, an aluminum type substance that provides some flexibility, but snaps like an soda can if messed with too much.
All to no avail.
Suddenly, inspiration. I call up Bruce Banner and tell him to get his skinny ass over to my house poste haste. He gives me some lip, but appears ten minutes later. I tell him to Hulk out and pull the supply lines out of the faucet. He refuses, citing public welfare. I bitch slap him. He's really been practicing that yoga crap because he barely flinches and doesn't Hulk out. So I kick him in the balls. That does the trick. Once green and gargantuan, I point The Hulk to the faucet and order, "Hulk separate!" Surprisingly he complies. But even The Hulk can't undo the calcified plumbing. He leaves my house sobbing, "Hulk fail."
I do finally get one side separated by lifting the faucet up over the sink, exposing the threaded copper tubing and supply lines. I use a vise grips to screw one washer off. But the other side gets stripped in the attempt so I have to use a hack saw to saw off the faucet tubing and remove the washer.
Meanwhile, all the jostling, lifting, and sawing breaks the supply line near the valve shut off.
I can't recall uttering a longer torrent of obscenities in all my life. I think I achieved a new world record today. Some of my four-letter word combos were truly inspiring.
Supply line broken, but Murphy's Law makes things worse. Turns out whomever built my house cut corners because the one end of the supply line is welded directly into the shutoff valve. As a result, I can't just unscrew it from the valve and replace it with a new one. I have to install an entirely new valve shutoff.
My simple faucet installation has now escalated to Def Con Two.
I take a moment to come to terms with the fact that I won't have the faucet installed anytime soon. I also realize I have to go back to Lowe's. So I jump in my truck for a supply run. Plumbing supplies have improved since my house was built and I pick up a sturdy but very pliable pvc supply line, along with a new valve shutoff and some Teflon tape.
Back home, I shut water off to the house and carefully take off the old piece-of-crap shutoff valve. You have to do this carefully because this is connected to your house's main water line. When you apply torque, you have to hold your main pipe in place so it doesn't twist along. Thankfully, the old valve slowly comes loose. It takes about five minutes for residual water to drain out. Once the flow abates, I wrap some Teflon tape around the pipe thread of the main line and screw the new valve into place. I use those trusty vice grips to finish tightening it.
I race back downstairs and open up all the outdoor faucets before I turn the main line back on. I do this to allow silt and sediment to flow outside rather than through the indoor plumbing components. Once the water is back on, I head back up stairs to check the valve. It's beading a drop of water every minute or so. I give the valve another quarter turn and the leak stops.
I take a look at the other side and decide I don't want to mess with that crappy valve anymore, so I shut of the house's water and replace that one too. Within minutes, I've got the new faucet installed and spitting out water.
Here's a pic of the broken supply line.
Here's a shot of the nether regions, flush with new guts.
And here's the money shot.
So two down, three to go. I'm going to replace all the rest of the valve shutoffs for the remaining faucets. Now that I know what I'm doing, they'll take mere minutes. But I've killed two afternoons in a row learning valuable plumbing skills, so I think I'll take tomorrow off.
Unless Wifezilla cracks the whip.
