Deep Thoughts

Taking a brief glance at my most recent posts, I realized that I haven’t been writing about my re-acquaintance with Dungeons & Dragons. Having mentioned months ago that I started playing again, a gentle reader might think that my foray short circuited and that I quit shortly after beginning.

I haven’t quit though and if I haven’t been writing about my Friday night sessions, it’s because I’ve been having too much fun. And because I really have been writing about them, though on a different blog. I took it upon myself to summarize our weekly game and post it on this site, http://cormyrcampaign.blogspot.com/.

Of the seven adventurers, I play Queequeg Scaleherd, a coin-collecting dragonborn warlord who excels at helping his fellows navigate the all too often chaotic battlefield. I enjoy playing him. I also look forward to trying out the other classes, especially the warlock.

As fun as the game itself is, it’s the camaraderie that makes D&D shine. I play with two married couples, two brothers, and another guy I’ve known for going on seven years now. We laugh and carry on and crack jokes almost as much as we actually play. Which is an off-task/on-task ratio I heartily endorse.

In hindsight, I made a big mistake abandoning D&D for World of Warcraft. At the time, WoW wooed me away because it offered constant play in the convenience of my own home. Giving up a weekly night out should have been the dying canary signal that I was heading down a poisoned mine shaft. At the time though, I was weary of D&D 3.5 imbalances and some of my fellow players taking twenty minutes to execute their turn; I may be exaggerating their chess playing, but not by much. WoW seemed the perfect substitute for D&D. I didn’t have to wait my turn, I got to play alongside my friends, and I could play in my underwear if the mood hit me. In the beginning, the MMO offered no drawbacks, only benefits.

But WoW’s chat is an imperfect communication venue. And as time passed, friends’ expectations of the game changed. The camaraderie I used to have via D&D all but disappeared; jokes and male-ribbing are difficult to replicate in cyberspace. The relaxed atmosphere of friends hanging out was replaced with suspicion, hurt feelings, and sometimes outright hostility. These were emotions and behavior I personally exhibited, as ashamed as I am to admit it.

That’s the nature of email, chat, and vent communication though. When you don’t have personal proximity, you find yourself typing venom that you would never have spewed towards the person if they were sitting right next to you. Body language is such a vitally important component of human communication and it’s totally absent in MMOs. Consequently, it’s almost always the core source of arguments, innuendo, misunderstanding, and ill-will. Not to mention that vent and chat offer an extremely limited ability to facilitate multiple conversations. High-end raiding especially demanded that only the leaders speak. Everyone else was asked to remain silent. Sometimes they were flat-out told to STFU.

It’s the biggest lesson I learned from WoW: your network of national and international friends can’t replace real flesh-and-blood people that you could otherwise be hanging out with. And that hardcore raiding can so consume your life, not only do you cut yourself off from real world relationships, you also put at risk established intimate relationships and the capacity to do other normal human activities, like read to your kids, exercise, or watch TV. It’s so telling that no one was as happy as Wifezilla that I started playing D&D again. Outside looking in, she could see the MMO difference even if I could not.

What’s that? Hmmm? You’re tired of me dissing on MMOs? I don’t blame you. To be clear, I really don’t mean to. I think games like WoW and LotRO are some of the most fun, engaging games out there. I quit WoW last March, LotRO a few months later. It was great getting a break from the routine those games instill. And yet, just last week, I suddenly got the urge to play both games. Even WoW! Not raid, mind you. Never say never, but I don’t think I’ll ever raid again. Unless I’m sent to prison, my cell complete with a PC, a MMO, and a broadband connection. Then maybe.

I’ve been playing LotRO these last few days and have been having a blast. I’ve mostly been soloing, but some unexpectedly kind PUGS helped me get some fellowship quests done. I really don’t begrudge MMOs mostly because I’m currently playing one! I do see them in a new perspective though. I see them much like alcohol or gambling, as a vice that can be abused to the point of consuming your life. Alcohol and gambling can be fun in moderation; they can destroy lives when taken too far.

So don’t let them! Play MMOs, raid even! But maintain a network of real friends, get outside and breathe some fresh air, enjoy some quality television or cinema. In other words, don’t forget to lead a life. So much of good living stems from the balancing act we all walk. Occasionally we all go off-kilter, our arms flailing to keep us upright. Re-center yourself!

Maybe play Dungeons & Dragons! It’s a game of high fantasy and adventure, and with the right people, can be even more fun than drunken karaoke.