Sir, I'd Love to Sell You That Game. But Then I'd Have to Kill You

It's a little surreal jamming out to Rock Band 2 with chainsaws humming in the background. It's also strange that so much of Houston is shut down, but my neighborhood Gamestop was open for business. I drove there yesterday, snotbags in tow. Traffic proved nightmarish. I didn't see a working traffic light in sight, making everything a four-way stop. Except most people don't have the patience (or the training) for that and barrel through when it's not their turn.

But I'll always risk my life for a newly released game.

The specimans at Gamestop are always a pleasure. I'm not sure why, but I think they're actually trained to reflexively tell you the game you want isn't available. I had Rock Band 2 on reserve, fully prepaid. I knew September 16 was the official street date. I also knew that only the game was available. The bundle and the individually packaged equipment go on sale in later weeks. But when I step up to counter and say I'm here to pick up my copy of Rock Band 2, the shaved-headed manager says, "Next week." Apparantly I don't deserve the response of a complete sentence. I respond, "No, actually it's out today. The game only." Inconvenienced and convinced I'm wrong, the manager strolls to his computer and pecks at the keys. He blankly stares at the screen and then grunts. He mumbles something about the bundle coming out next week and then motions to one of his minions who proceeds to go in the back room, returning with a copy of Rock Band 2.

This guy is the manager of the store and he doesn't know the week's new releases? I admit that Rock Band 2's release is fragmented, with multiple release dates for different equipment and platforms. Still, the list of Tuesday releases can't number past ten on any given week. And Rock Band 2 is a hugely anticipated title, one of the biggest of the week, if not for this month. Gamestop clerks should be all over that. Certainly the first thing out of there month shouldn't be, "Next week."

I only harp because this is the kind of service and disinformation I get from that store on a consistent basis. Like I said, it's like they're trained to automatically tell you that whatever you're there to buy, it's not out yet. Rather than listen to what you're actually asking for (I never asked for the RB2 bundle) or respond with clarifying questions of their own ("Do you mean the X-box 360 game only sir?"), they seem curiously unmotivated to match customer to game. Not only that, they seem about as informed about what's coming down the retail pike as my very own mother who, by the way, couldn't tell you the difference between Half-Life 2 and Bejeweled.

I think this stems from monopoly. I knew it bode ill that Gamestop swallowed up EBGames. Not that EB's customer service was so vastly better. But it was better. Now that Gamestop, along with Best Buy, are really the only retail outlets left selling games (I don't count Target or Walmart because for the most part those stores don't offer reserve and pre-order options), customers are going to have to deal with lousy service, disinformation, and general churlishness.

If I ever lose my library job, I might just have to apply for a Gamestop manager position. I know the first thing I'd say as I stepped into my very own store, my pimple-faced employees lined up before me:

"Time to take out the trash."