Someone Spiked His Metamucil

Earlier in the day, Democrats and Republicans had a deal ironed out. Later, it fell apart.

Did McCain's arrivals on the scene somehow derail the deal? It was all done behind closed doors, so there's no way of knowing just yet. It does seem a curious coincidence that when McCain got there, the bailout agreement began to unravel. Or maybe it's not a coincidence at all.

Democrats accuse McCain of grandstanding, Republicans hail him for doing his civic duty. And around and around we go again, the rival parties dancing and finger pointing and preening and nitpicking and jockeying for position like our country isn't on the godforsaken brink. It's the same bullshit that we get day in and day out from the dried out swamp. I am completely amazed that not even a crisis of this magnitude can make our politicians blink long enough to behave like human beings instead of the self-serving, egotistical lot they really are.

I'll brook no argument defending McCain's recent antics. The man puts his campaign on hold, says he's not showing up to the debate tomorrow night if an agreement isn't in place, and even cancels an appearance on David Letterman, to the host's complete ire. And for what? To rescue the country? We're talking about a politician who as recently as a week ago said our nation's economic foundation was solid. We're talking about a politician who has long advocated bank deregulation, the very contributing factor that led to this mess. What in the hell does he think he's going to do or say to suddenly save the day? It seems all too likely that John McCain is the LEAST qualified senator to help engineer a bailout bill.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are so screwed. Our wealth has been squandered, our politicians rendered impotent. Unless a red, white, and blue lightning bolt strikes from the skies over Washington, juicing its constituents in crackling patriotic fervor, our politicians are going to continue acting like they always have lo these past decades. In other words, they're going to continue putting their interests first.

And the United States' a distant second. So distant you can see the road shimmer in the intervening expanse, a mirage as ethereal as a solvent American economy.