Mouseless in Houston

To give you an idea of how things roll around here at my school district, I walked into my office today to a brand new computer. Shiny. Black. LCD monitor. Three speaker sound system, sub-woofer included. New computer smell, like ozone, only more intoxicating. It was great, except for one tiny little detail:

There was no mouse or keyboard.

I looked around the building and sure enough, every new computer installed was missing a mouse and keyboard. What the hell? Who installs a computer without a mouse and keyboard? The things might as well be bricks for all the use you can get out of them mouseless and keystroke-impaired. What cracks me up is my old computer worked perfectly fine. It was old, yes, but it functioned. Why in the world they would replace a working computer with half-working one defies logic. It does jive with bureaucratic aforethought, but that doesn’t do me a whole lot of good when I’m trying to access work email or work on a database.

I asked around the building if anyone knew why mouse and keyboard didn’t arrive as standard equipment for the new shipment of computer, but no one knew anything. So I called the district’s technology department. The guy who answered immediately told me the peripherals were on their way, in a bored tone that hinted he had fielded this question many, many times in the past few days. Yeah? Well too freaking bad! Next time, install a working computer so no one’s time is wasted.

Idjits.