T&A, Dwarf Anatomy, and Today's RPG's

I'm well into The Witcher's Act III and am in role playing heaven. Just today I helped the elves and dwarves escape capture after they robbed Vizima's local bank. The game's demihumans are a racially persecuted lot and currently wage a guerrilla war against the humans. I also tracked down a knight's sister. She had been bitten by a madame vampire and was currently turning tricks at the local whorehouse. It was only after I tapped some of that action that I noticed the bite marks, so my carousing had an investigative purpose even if I stumbled upon the clue completely by accident. The best part: after I informed the knight that his sister was a vampire prostitute, the dude freaked out on me, stiffed me my reward, and stormed out of the inn.

Speaking of inns, they're inevitably populated with patrons that inform me that my Ma sucks dwarf . . . well, you know. This incenses Geralt to be sure, but the game only allows him to pummel the foul-mouthed offenders of his Ma's honor; I don't have the option to unsheathe cold steel to permanently end the jibes. Beating the crap out of mouthy citizens gets tiring, however. Geralt relaxes by hard drinking and equally hard skirt chasing. As a result, my collection of nekkid cards continues to grow. I play Geralt to hit anything that's 1) female and 2) hawt. He's been mostly successful except for the butt-nekkid green dryad who wanted Geralt to procure a wolf pelt to prove his virility. I had not one on hand so there was no hot woodland creature action to be had.

I do appreciate this new generation of RPG. Games like Mass Effect, The Witcher, and Grand Theft Auto IV are designed and marketed for adults. Now that I've played them, I can't believe adult gamers went so long without such games. It's easy to look back and see why. Financially, developers couldn't afford to risk designing a game for a single strata of gamer. Instead, they designed for the lowest common denominator. Good games still came together, but any content aimed at adults also had to be appropriate for the youngsters.

Which is a real shame for the very reason that a stark difference exists between an adult movie like The Departed and a children's movie like Kung Fu Panda. I like both movies, but one is a more satisfying experience than the other. It's taken awhile, but video gaming is finally catching up to the mature gaming market, recognizing that adults don't want their games watered down, homogenized for the broadest audience possible. Games like the The Witcher could hearken a new golden age of gaming, where avatars insult your mother's virtue and gratuitous nudity is as prolific as monster killing.